I wanna be God!!!

Now that I’ve managed to get a hit out on my name with the above title, let me explain what I am talking about. Hopefully I’ve got enough time to at least explain the statement to myself before I am hung drawn and quartered.

The idea of a God or Higher Power is a comforting and scary one all at the same time. Now before I continue I am not stating whether I do or do not believe. I am merely thinking out loud irrespective of my personal beliefs. As the whole idea is based on belief it has always been open to questions. Irrespective of whether you’re a raving lunatic believer or a raving lunatic non believer you will either take or not take responsibility for your own life. Then there is the question of destiny who writes it, is it based on fate, do we have free will. There are all these different branches of thought that come back to the following question.

Whether there is or isn’t a God, why do we as people still want to be God?

We spend every waking hour trying to shape, fix, make, change or influence everything around us. You can be a believer or not yet manage to blame everything and everyone around you, including God, for your life. Before embarking on anything in your life we hear a voice that tells us not to do it or to do it, however we let worldly influences i.e. parents, friends and spouses influence what we choose to do. There are certain things in life that I and everyone around me thought I would never do. I had seen the results on everybody around me. Guess what I did them and realised I was right in the first place. I was the God of my own destiny but I let my life take a different route to what I had originally planned. It was all well scripted then I decided to improvise. God must be totally alone as that must be the only way we can actually do exactly what we wish, without having to consider the other people involved.

We listen to fellow workers, spouses, bosses, political leaders so called religious leaders and even idiots tell us what is going to happen. How many times have listened to the person above you in some shape or form and you know they don’t have an ounce of your intelligence or charisma. Yes I hear you, far too many times. Some of you go through this every day. Does this mean you are more intelligent and charismatic or simply upset as it’s out of your control to change anything but God knows if you had the chance you could solve all the world’s problems?

That is exactly my point; we could all make the world a better place if everybody just listened to us, if you all just listened to me. We have no real reason to believe this apart from our ego, and our ego makes us wanna be God, without even realising. The moment we start tearing our hair out and thinking... Oh God if only I could just... what u really mean is, “I am God and could solve it all, but you are too stupid to let me take control.”

I do it every day; you all do it every day. However I have learnt that instead of changing the world by being a God to everyone else, I will simply live as I please making changes in myself that I want to see in the world.

“Break away the chains of mortality to find freedom; I will roam as I please for this whole world is my kingdom.” Arjun Singh Panam

Freedom from self.

A long time ago I read a book called, “Man was born free and yet everywhere he is in chains,” no not the kinky kind. Chains of our own creation, a creation we implement in our lives to feel secure, happy and even normal. However that same security imprisons us beyond escape. Essentially what is it we are all looking for, normality, happiness, nirvana, companionship?

The list is endless, but life isn’t and sooner or later you sit back and think about the path you are travelling and whether or not you intended to be on this path or the damn Sat Nav just told you to take the next left and you did. I for one have always known from a young age where I am headed, the only problem is I never expected this many diversion signs on the way. I mean exactly what are they improving on this road, I fail to understand.

The world in its entirety has always fascinated me. Those who have read the previous post know I am a born world gypsy. For first timers, I have moved and travelled around every few years to different parts of the world. It hasn’t always been intentional but an experience none the less. Now this is where the idea of being free from one self arose from.

What is it exactly to be free from even yourself?

The answer to that is in more questions, firstly who are you and how did you end up on this junction? Some of us knew who and where we wanted to be and life has led us here instead. Some of us had no idea who or where we wanted to be therefore life has led us here, still. In both scenarios life has lead us to the same place. Now in life we are suckers for routine, whether you try to routine everything or like me prefer to be more spontaneous and break free from routine, (there’s a lot of routine in this sentence alone.) We all end up on a daily basis doing the same things, wake up, brush teeth, maybe shower (now I am not saying being spontaneous means not brushing or showering) but maybe you can brush in the shower, some people feel secure enough to pee in the shower even. No not me, and don’t ask how I know.

Anyway back on track, we all live life on a daily basis just to be able to take forward things like our house, car, job, gym membership, magazine subscription, etc, etc. However none of this really defines us at all. Now I am no Guru (but feel free to think of me as one) but I can tell you where I have felt free like never before. To me being free is a feeling where it doesn’t matter whether I am coming or going, it doesn’t matter what boring job I do for a living, whether or not I have paid my rent or bills is forgotten, what relation I am to who holds no relevance, I have forgotten about all dreams and aspirations, I am comfortable enough to talk to strangers. Some strangers are even comfortable enough to use my shoulder as a cushion without even feeling the need to ask. I am fed at regular intervals, usually by angelic faces with a smile.

I am nothing but me and the only time I am free from my created self.

I hear you, stop talking shit and tell us where the hell am I going with this? Well everybody’s place of freedom will be different but I think the above outlined feelings will be the same. I have these feelings when I am....... now don’t put a bounty on my head as this may not answer all your life’s questions or wish away all your problems. Ok? I have these feeling when I am........this may not amount to much in your thinking, but I have these feeling when I am, how do I put this without making it out to be a real let down for you. Well when you’ll think about it, you’ll understand. So I have these feelings when I am in the air. Although becoming Superman is my secret ambition, I don’t mean that kind of in the air, but flying still. When I fly in a plane, for that amount of time I have no relevance in the world at all. I am just me. I fly with nothing on board but my passport and ticket, no hand luggage. I walk on the plane with my hands in my pocket and take my seat, and sometimes when I am upgraded it really feels like heaven. The duration of the flight and the feeling we have of going to a new place isn’t just about going on holiday or visiting a new location. It is the feeling of being free from your created self and being just you.

The million dollar question is how do we attain that feeling here on earth and break out of our chains of creation. The answer like the truth is not out there but with you. How many time have you said, “I knew I shouldn’t have,” done something or listened to somebody. More times than you care to remember, right? So if you knew, you know.

You know exactly what you need to do to attain your freedom from self.

More such videos can be found on my Youtube channel @ www.youtube.com/user/arjunsatyakam

Because you have to!!!

Confused?

You will be. I know I am. Reading this may make you none the wiser but at least you tried. Being born and having grown up in the western society but also lucky enough to have lived my life in other parts of the world like India, I see things with a wide angle lens. Does that make it any easier to understand? Definitely does not.

I am talking about the constant battle that the South Asian parents have trying to get their children to follow certain traditions. Why is that so difficult you ask, as we are all proud of the rich cultural inheritance we have being Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, etc? It isn’t difficult as we are educated enough to read and research our backgrounds to carry forward who we are.

What am I ranting and raving on about then, I am talking about all the things we are asked to do and follow in the name of religion, culture, language even geographic variables without any logical explanation. When I ask why I have to do this, because you have to or don’t be so western are some of the answers we receive. Such incidents are very visible around wedding times. We can all agree that a marriage is the coming together of two individuals, souls, etc. Whether it is a conspiracy by the government or not is another debate all together. However marriage usually leads to children and the world carrying on.

I was lucky enough to get married twice, (to the same person I better declare before she reads this). One was the court marriage that took place in a Chapel in Canada. The second was the traditional Sikh wedding. I’d never been to a chapel wedding before but it was the most peaceful and joyous day spent with some wonderful and close friends of choice. I had been to many Sikh weddings being a Sikh, but when the wedding preparations started, so did my confusion. I will also tell you how to deal with this a little later. Why would this lead to confusion you’re wondering, well from every step since we decided to have the wedding nothing was ours to decide any further. It was all down to what people will say or because I have to.

The wedding day arrives and you are marched around to be ready on time, which you are but nobody else is. The wedding is taking place and all your loved ones and siblings are running around making sure the party is all set and seeing to people you do not recognize. Even when they ask you, “Do you know who I am?”

No because I’ve never seen you and my parents haven’t told me as they have been too busy working so they could spend all their life savings on my wedding. Ignoring the fact I just wanted a small affair. Why must we South Asians spend so much just to show the people we never see? A wedding is like a second mortgage and then some, but you do it because you have to. Here is a small list of other things we have to do, as I couldn’t possibly cover them all:

1) The giving and taking of clothes (usually the same one’s that are passed around)

2) The inviting of people your parents haven’t spoken to in your entire life time

3) Flowing alcohol (which is fine if you drink yourself and in moderation but why to the point that there is a fight and nobody remembers anything)

4) The throwing of money when we can just hand it to the people collecting it

5) Photographing all individuals giving money numerous times, feeding cake, giving blessings in the Gurudwara, etc.

6) Worth mentioning again, spending enough to feed a starving nation to cater for people that don’t even wish to be there.

I could carry on, but I am not just writing about the wedding traditions. I am trying to draw attention to the traditions we follow throughout the South Asian community simply because this is the way we have always done it. However somewhere down the years we have forgotten why things were done in a certain way and now follow it blindly. Even that wouldn’t be such a problem if everybody was following the same path, but you can ask four different aunties and get four different replies to the same question.

I believe these are small things that make a big difference to our lives and special days, if our elders could explain exactly why we do certain things it would be fine, but when nobody knows and everybody is expected to follow, I am sorry I can’t do it just because you have to……

I go by the name Arjun

I go by the name Arjun, or sometimes The Indian Guy. Depends where I am I guess. I have spent most of life travelling around and living in different countries and no this hasn't turned me into an army brat just a brat, simply because my family had nothing to do with the army. However it was the lack of discipline and the inability to understand authority that landed me in India/Punjab at the tender age of 5. I was never a rude child I just thought and believed I knew better. Which, naturally the adults found hard to digest. Anyhow being in India was the best time of life for the next five years. I became disciplined and learned the value of education and family but remained a brat none the less. This once again became the reason for my return back to England. I spent my five years in India doing as I please and going where I pleased. It was also where I discovered Story Telling and Acting. Also I got named a run away. It wasn't running away I caught a bus, twice. I was just visiting relatives that I missed. Anyhow upon being caught and punished for the second time the last straw was my answer to the question adult’s love. What have you learned, my answer being, “if you ever run away from home never go to see relatives as they become informants and you get caught.”

Life in England was slow and boring for a ten year old but I found my own entertainment. I started to develop stories and acting them out mostly to my only viewer and avid fan my little sister. At the age of thirteen I discovered a man with a name I could not pronounce, Arnold Schwarzenegger. While shopping my sister and I would leave our parents and play hide and seek in the supermarket. I was hiding in the magazine aisle and saw Mr. Schwarzenegger on a muscle and fitness magazine. Having bought that magazine that day has kept me fit and healthy till this day on regular workouts 5-6 times a week, although I remain much smaller in size at the height of 5ft 11.

I was academically intelligent as academics only required a good memory and as mine is near enough photographic I excelled without any enthusiasm. It was always the creative side that interested me as it allowed me to use more than my memory, since the time I can remember my answer to what I want to be has always been an actor. This love for creativity slowly developed into story writing and making small films and clips. I graduated with a degree in Sociology and Media followed by a Masters in Media Production, ( thought I’d slip that in there before you think I am just a lazy layabout, which I can be.)

I moved to Canada a year after my Masters for three years and also and found it to be favourite place on Earth alongside India. I worked in the Media field as a researcher and occasionally as an actor, before returning to England in the worst time possible the recession. I now reside in Birmingham with a keen eye to more elsewhere as soon as possible. I am now working as an actor and making my own small films and comedy sketches found on YouTube.

As a person I remain the same 5 yr old who has believes in what he wants to do and doesn’t allow anything to stand in the way. I perceive, believe and achieve. The world will always tell you otherwise but it is up to you to know what it is you desire and how hard you are willing to work for your dream. Live fast and die young, meaning remain young irrespective of you physical age. As one of favourite actors said, “Dream as if you’ll live forever...Live as if you’ll die today, “James Dean.